The BIG 3-9!

Jeff's birthday. Well - how do you celebrate what you believe will be your last birthday? Jeff continued to feel like he was swelling, and he was gaining weight -about 2 lbs a day. So I asked the hospice nurse if we could try to get it drained. She immediately scheduled us an appointment to go to the hospital and get a drain. So that was how he started his birthday.

I snapped this picture with my phone while we were waiting for them to get him ready for the procedure.

If you compare it to his last chemo day two weeks before (in a previous post) you can see a dramatic difference in the size of his tummy. (I never thought to show these to the nurse - not that it would have mattered, they weren't really giving him lots of help or options, but they did try to tell him that it was mostly mental because of tumors in his lungs)

Anyway, they came in and explained the procedure and got him all ready for it. They did caution that if they couldn't find a big enough pocket of fluid they wouldn't be able to do the procedure, but with almost 20 pounds built up, I never even thought that would be a problem (as shown by what happened next).

They came to get Jeff, I kissed him goodbye and then I left the hospital, because in addition to my roles of wife and ferocious nurse I was still the mommy, too. And Brooke had her medieval feast and opera at school, and it was important to us that one of us be there. I had arranged with Jeff's dad to pick him up and we had told him what time the procedure would be done and how long he would be in recovery.

When I called Bruce to tell him I had left he said that he was about 15 minutes out. I was glad. We tried to down play it and tell him he could come later, but I hated thinking about Jeff being brought back after the procedure and having no one there who actually cared about him. I started the 25 minute drive back home. About 10 minutes in to the drive I got a phone call. It was the hospital, there wasn't enough free floating fluid to put in a drain. It seemed that all the fluid was collecting in his tissues. Crap. I told them that his dad should be there any minute.

I went to the Feast and Opera knowing that Jeff was in good hands, and pondering what the next move could be.

Jeff and his dad continued on with some fun birthday plans and went and got a Vitamin C infusion - so fun!! And went to check out the hyperbaric chamber! (I know, you are jealous - your birthday can't even begin to measure up) He did get to have an astroburger - which he had been craving for two months though, so that was good!

The hospice nurse ordered (and delivered) lots of good diuretics to flush the fluid out of his tissues.

The day wasn't all bad. Between my sister Kim, and some of my sweet neighbors, they pulled together a little BBQ to celebrate his birthday. They came in with bags of food, laid out a beautiful meal, we all talked and visited and took pictures and told stories. He had friends stopping by throughout the night, and when it was over, the party planners quietly cleaned it all up and left without a trace. (Can I just say, the goodness of the people in my life just makes me cry! I hope they stick around when they come to find out that Jeff was the nice one and I am the hag, but they are amazing!) Here are some stellar pictures I took for your viewing pleasure!

I actually don't have a lot of pictures because someone else was taking pictures, and I switched to the video camera because they were sharing a lot of memories and stories that I wanted to be able to catch. This was Jeff's Facebook post after his birthday: "Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. It was a great last birthday. I am so grateful for all the love and support you have all shown my family. Love ya" I didn't read it until I was in bed in Vegas. I was so mad at him!! I couldn't feel what he was feeling, and he was mentally so much more prepared for the end than I was because he could feel his body shutting down. I believed in a miracle until the last 36 hours! But because of this, when he would say things like this that would upset me and make me cry, he was able to hug me and comfort me and tell me I was going to be okay. What an amazing blessing to be able to mourn together. (But I am getting ahead of myself!)