Our Courtship Story

**Disclaimers: I wrote this 9 years ago...before the advent of Facebook, and apparently before I developed a personality. Also, I used a questionnaire, that I guess was pretty boring. So here is what I remembered about our courtship after being married 11 years (I have to give my grandmas credit - they both wrote theirs for me after they had been married 50+ years and they remembered more details - I can't even remember all of these details about mine now - only 18 years later.) Jeff and I met on Mothers Day 1993. (I only know this because my mom keeps reminding me how rude it is to move out on Mothers Day) I was carrying the last box, which for some reason was empty, or full of something light like stuffed animals, when Jeff came home from a bike ride. He lived in the apartment directly below me. He said to my friend Jane (Jackson) and me, “I would help you, but it is not my day to be a gentleman.” No, it was not love at first sight, but I did think he was cute in a silly kind of way. Jane’s boyfriend lived next door to Jeff on the 2nd floor and we just hung out with all the guys in both apartments and they would hang out in our apartment all together. Our relationship definitely evolved from friendship. We didn’t actually “go out” on a date with just the 2 of us until the end of June. I was busy every weekend between taking an EMT class and working at Little Caesars. On our first date we went to the movie Jurassic Park (1). Just coincidentally we saw my mom in the parking lot of the movie theater. I am pretty certain it was a coincidence because I don’t think I told her I even had a date. Anyway, that is how she first met Jeff. I don’t know how long after that date it was that I invited him over to my mom’s for Sunday dinner, but it couldn’t have been very long. I went home every weekend because I taught Beehives in my home ward, and hey, it was a home cooked meal by someone else. Anyway, I invited him over and told him I would come and get him, but then during church I got cold feet and decided not to. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I had already told my mom, who had spread the word to Grandma Bev, she and grandpa were also coming to dinner to meet him. So I went to pick him up and he said something to the effect of “It is a good thing you came today because if you didn’t show up, I was going to give up on you and move on to someone who was interested.” It flees from my memory now, but I think I had invited him over a couple of times before, just casually, but we never made definite plans and he had never come before. I guess he was getting the impression that I wasn’t interested. I just didn’t want to seem pushy or forward. Back to the story; this was the first Sunday in July. We must have had the 9-12 church because I remember we stayed at my mom’s for about 8 hours. The only things I distinctly remember are, that he was cute with my brothers. Beau was 9 and continually climbed all over him and Jeff played10 fruits and Indians with him. (A game I am sure he or Beau would be happy to demonstrate to interested parties) The other thing I distinctly remember was that when it rolled around time for the second meal, I didn’t get up and serve Jeff (training my mom tried hard to instill, but I never really caught on). But the real reason was I didn’t feel like I knew him well enough to dictate what and how much he should eat. I just said, “There is the fridge, help yourself”. My mom was mortified, but Jeff was fine with it, he has never been very shy. That night when we left he kissed me for the first time right in front of my mom’s house by the side of my ‘little red slammed’ truck. Also, in front of a Beehive passing by with someone in a car (oops) but it lasted an hour or so. I guess something like that should have been expected. So we broke it up for then and resumed when we returned to my apartment – outside on my balcony, until my friend Jane showed up and started making cat-calls – because not only was this my first kiss with Jeff, it was my first ‘real’ kiss ever (or at least since I was 4). What an awesome experience it is now looking back to share such a unique, wonderful first experience with the man who would later become my husband. Because Jeff and I lived so close to each other, and really didn’t have much money, we spent lots of time walking the track at Hansen Stadium (Dixie College) and just talking. We really got to know each other well that way – our pasts and family backgrounds and our wishes for the future. I really don’t remember any specific dates. I know we did lots of hiking on the red hill and also out by Quail Lake, but I can’t remember the name of that place so I will have to ask him. (We should have continued on with these kinds of activities instead of the eating and sitting ones.) I do remember one occasion when he had an old mission companion and his wife coming over for dinner (he will have to supply names). He worked all day cleaning his apartment – there were 4 or 5 guys living there – and making his famous lasagna. I went over after work to help him. I got to clean the bathroom because this is just something boys don’t do well. But this bathroom; lets just say I would rather clean one at a busy gas station. I also remember when Jeff started football practice (3 a days) he sent me a teddy bear, balloons and a nice card. I still have the card and bear. I remember about a month after we started dating he asked me to drive him home to visit his family, because I had a better car than him. I actually don’t remember much about that visit except that his parents had a lovely guest bedroom (with the whole matching sheet comforter set – I never had that growing up, so I definitely coveted others). He had to sleep on the couch downstairs. I also remember that I was sick. I think the first 2 or 3 times I saw his parents I was sick. The must have thought I was a weak little sickly thing. I was surprised and still am sometimes by the similar makeup and background of our families and upbringing. Our proposal is really the long running joke between us. I was working at Little Caesars and I suppose, like every job, the employees get involved in each other’s lives. They all knew I was dating Jeff. He was generally hanging around for me at closing or just popping in to visit during the day. I had a friend who worked with me named Tami Jewell. Her dad, Larry Jewell worked in radio and announced the Dixie College football games. Well, it was the first scrimmage game of the season and Jane and I went to watch. About halfway through, I guess Larry was just bored waiting for the first play to start and said, “number 76, Jeff Anderson, has found his future bride right here in St. George.” I was shocked. We had not really discussed marriage in any sort of planning or future way that I recall. I suppose it was probably mentioned in passing, but I don’t remember. Jane and I left the game immediately. When Jeff got home I remember going down to his apartment wondering if he was going to kill me. Not that I had anything to do with it. He was sitting at his kitchen table fixing his necklace that had broken during the game. It is funny that I remember that, because I don’t remember anything we said to each other. The only other thing I remember about that night is him calling his parents. He said “I’m getting married” and (he claims) his dad said, “To Andrea” (his dad denies this) and he said, “No, to Cindy, you know, that girl I brought home a couple of weeks ago.” That was all there was to it. We were just engaged. Our relationship has always been really easygoing and stable. We rarely have fights and just seem to go with the flow. It was the same with setting a date for our wedding. Jeff came in to my work and I got out a calendar and he said “I don’t have a game this weekend and it is the longest break I can take”. Viola a date was set, November 19, 1993. Jane and I picked out my ring at J C Penney then I took Jeff in and showed him the one I wanted. I think he asked me if I was sure I didn’t want a bigger one, but I had my heart set on the one with the hearts (which I later traded up for a bigger one – I just went in to see if Jeff could get the other one back as an anniversary present, but they don’t make it anymore.) We knew each other for almost exactly 6 months before we were married (yikes) but I can’t really define that into periods of friends, dating, and engaged, because I was not a good record keeper. When I try to think of qualities that attracted me to him, the first was spirituality. He was fresh off his mission and attended the temple really often. I thought that was so great, even though I hadn’t been through the temple yet. He is also a great teacher and was knowledgeable in the scriptures, where I was much more in my infancy of gospel learning. The second quality, which I can’t explain, was I knew he would be a great father and a hard worker and would be able to support our family. The reason I can’t explain why I knew this, is because he didn’t have a job at the time. He was living basically off his scholarship. When I read the question “would I change anything about our courtship” The only thing I could think of was a more romantic proposal, but that wouldn’t be nearly as fun of a story to tell. We were married by Karl Staheli, who is my great uncle (my dad’s uncle), on November 19, 1993 in the morning and –being in St. George- the weather was perfect. The first thing I remember about that morning was when Uncle Karl came to counsel with the two of us. Of course he knew about the recent death of my dad, just over a year earlier, and he said some wonderful things about people on the other side of the veil being pleased with our decision, (that was the jist – I don’t remember any direct quotes). We were both touched by his words. Then I remember going to kneel at the altar and Jeff bumped his head on a low hanging chandelier. Uncle Karl said something to the effect of “He is just a big teddy bear.” Jeff was not pleased with these remarks. The last thing I remember was everyone coming to hug us and give us their congratulations. My mom was first and we shared a great hug, but the one that sticks out in my mind was the hug from Uncle Eric. I remember he said “We’re proud of you” and I felt that it was coming from my dad, too. I had a wedding gown that was short sleeved and fitted to my hips, then a fluffy skirt. My veil was a hat with waist length tulle down the back. I bought both at Mary’s Bridal, but not until I had first tried on every dress that any family member or friend had access to in all the family!! We had a wedding lunch after the temple and before the reception. Our lunch was at Sizzler. It was basically my and Jeff’s parents, grandparents, siblings and his best men and my friend Jane. Jeff’s best men were his friends, Chris Delahunty and Chris Lindquist. My bridesmaids were my sister Becca and his sisters Traci and Tiffany. They wore dusty rose gowns (that I loved and that looked just like a prom dress that I had worn in high school), but they hated them. We had shopped for hours though and because of my great love for shopping, I knew if we didn’t just buy something someone was going to die. Unfortunately in November my colors of dusty rose and country blue were a little hard to come by. We decorated in those colors and used a lot of bears. My friend Tammy Jewell made me a special bride and groom bear and they sat on a cute little bench. We had a reception in St. George that night (Friday) and the next night in Sandy. That was lots of traveling for lots of people!! I don’t remember specifically what we served for refreshments, but I would guess cake, mints, nuts and punch. I had a wedding cake made by a friend and neighbor in the ward, BJ Mitchell. In the middle layer it had a mirror, and there was a picture of us that was reflected from above. I don’t really remember a specific wedding gift that we really loved. Jeff’s dad gave us a cd/tape/radio player that we still use today, and my mom paid the down payment on our apartment and stocked it with groceries. We registered at ZCMI, Wal-mart and Sears. I remember taking lots of things back to exchange. We got lots of platters, which I still don’t understand. We took just about everything we could back to Sears and bought a TV and VCR (that we still have and use). I don’t remember getting cold feet, but Jeff did tell me that the first thing he did that morning when he woke up was throw up!! For our honeymoon we went to Wendover, which is a strange choice considering that I was 19, but he had to be back in 4 days for Thanksgiving and then we had to drive to Monticello for our friends Chris and Camille Delahunty’s wedding. We gambled some, we took the grand tour of Wendover, which is about 10 minutes and we saw a couple of movies, probably both that were playing in the town at the time. We didn’t see any movies in our room though, so I don’t know if there wasn’t that option back then or if we thought it was too expensive. My mom thinks this was a good idea for a honeymoon, because this is one that we can afford to recreate for our anniversary and we have since done that.