I'll Die Trying

Okay, so from now on all my posts will have titles from country music songs (not really, but that would be awesome, right!)

I do like this song, and I think it has a fairly appropriate message, but what it really made me think of is Jeff's fight with cancer. When he was diagnosed the second time we researched and agonized in a complete frenzy over what to do.

The first time around we just blindly did everything the doctors said and trusted that all would be well. The second time we knew better, and they didn't give us much hope, so we decided to see what was out there. There is a lot of crazy crap out there!!

It was torture trying to decide what the best route would be. We got the advice to "follow the Spirit" a lot. I don't know how it is for others, but when your life is in that much turmoil, it is really hard to hear the Spirit. For me the feeling was to choose what we were going do, and do it whole-heartedly and the rest would work out how it was meant to. So I guess technically, I wasn't that helpful, Jeff had to make the ultimate decision.

We went until the night before radiation and chemo were scheduled to start before a decision was made. He wanted to try everything, but we knew that wasn't feasible (that would kill you) so we decided to do the things that seemed to have the most research behind them. He decided that Sunday night to do the chemo and radiation, which made other options not options anymore, but in hindsight, I think that was right. Lots of the "alternatives" would have taken us from home for five days to three weeks at a time. Even though he had treatments every day Monday -Friday, we were here to send our kids off to school and here when they got home. That was important time!

As I mentioned in the last post we also did lots of alternatives. Mainly the diet. Also, handfuls of vitamins and supplements, juicing, wheat grass, mega dose vitamin c, hyperbaric chamber, hydrogen peroxide, vitamin b17 injections. That is why I think the title "I'll die trying" is so appropriate. He tried everything we could feasibly do, and he did it completely. He didn't eat sugar from the day he was diagnosed. He only ate meat products toward the end part of February, and then it was only when alternatives weren't available (hospitals do not have many vegan options), and he never ate dairy. I told him that we were going to do everything we could, the best we could, and then live with no regrets. I can honestly tell you, I have no regrets! We did everything we possibly could. I know that this was what was meant to happen. That isn't to say I am happy about it, or even okay with it, but I do know that we will be okay. We will be watched over and protected because of this challenge.

Back to the story. So Jeff did 6 rounds of chemotherapy. He went in once a week, for 6 weeks for an infusion of nasty chemicals that took over two hours. He never complained. In fact, if he felt side effects from the chemo, I never knew. It wasn't as harsh as the first round he did last year so I do think he actually had much less side effects.

He also did 7 weeks of daily radiation therapy. This treatment only took about 10 minutes (the drive was an hour round trip, so that was *great*!) It actually wasn't too bad. I drove him the last three or 4 weeks so it gave us some extra time to spend together. The side effects of the radiation were much harsher than the side effects of the chemo. They were downright terrible and nearly intolerable. He also got radiation burns that we reported when they were really small, but the doctor brushed them off and said it was normal. A week later it had gone from an inch round to 2 inches by 8 inches. We asked to talk to a doctor. His was out of the office that day and no other doctor was "willing" to see us. Yes, the nurse really said that to us. But she hooked us up with some cream and special pads for radiation burns and it was like magic. The burns were so much better in three days when we changed the dressing. (Nice that the Doctor didn't help us when the burns were small).

I was going to make this post clear through the end, but it is getting too long, so I will split it up into many small posts for your reading enjoyment. This will be the end of the treatment posts. I will leave you with the fabulous picture I snapped (with my phone) on his last day of chemo.