The Info Everyone Wants (even if it isn't funny!)

My world is all about keeping it funny, and my world took a huge leap into the unfunny with the beginning of 2011. I cope by getting funnier (you have noticed, right)! But since (in the words of TAMN) this is my journal, I have to include it. But then I will hurry and bury it by funnier posts. On January 3rd Brooke had a party (for no good reason except they were off track). They went with a wintery theme and put shredded toilet paper on the fan blades to simulate snow. Between the mess that made and the 20ish preteen girls, by 4 in the afternoon I was feeling like crawling into bed for a long winter's nap. Then Jeff came home from work. The first words out of his mouth were, "The cancer is back". I was speechless (shocking, right). I just sat at the table for a few minutes without saying anything. Then he said "you think I'm joking, but I'm not." I followed that up with "At the point we are in our lives, I know you know better than to joke about that!" He didn't know a lot, but his oncologist had called and told him that it was seen on the CT and the MRI and that he wanted to see us first thing the next morning. UGH - that is a long night! The next day we showed up at the office, I am sure we had the deer in the headlights look, because that is exactly how I felt. The doctor came in and said basically, "So, the tumor is back. It is very aggressive and very fast growing. It has grown in to the pelvic bone. I am recommending that you start chemo and radiation right away to try to control the growth so it doesn't break the bone and render you immobile." Jeff replied with "So you are telling me that I am 38 and I'm not going to live to see 40?" (he has a way with words too!) The doctor sat there without saying anything for almost a minute before he said "It is very aggressive and our fear was always that it would come back". Then his phone rang and he said, "Excuse me, I need to take this!" Really, for the love!! He had set up with the radiation oncologist for us to go right downstairs to his office immediately. Shell shocked and crying, we headed down. The radiation oncologist is an older guy (who looks like Alan Alda - from MASH). He had a much better bedside manner. He hadn't had time to go through Jeff's charts completely, but based on what he knew, he said that with chemo and radiation together, we had a 10% chance of killing the cancer. He also left the room to answer a phone call (I know - I am starting a seminar to retrain doctors.) But when he came back in the room, and I was crying again, he held my hand for the rest of our visit. I thought that was sweet. (And later, while Jeff was getting his tattoo's and I was sitting in the waiting room - crying- he saw me and came out to pat my head. I won't lie, that was a little weird, but nice of him!) So we left there with a plan to start radiation on Monday (every day, Monday through Friday) and chemo on Tuesday (once a week) for five weeks. With somewhere between 0-10% chance of beating it (according to medicine). These odds were not good enough for us, so we started researching every hokey, voodoo, home remedy and alternative cancer therapy ever invented. The first thing he did cut out all sugar, dairy, and other animal products (meat and eggs) from his diet. This was done on day one! We were basing his diet changes on what is known as an alkalizing diet. It is mainly fresh fruits and vegetables. Even grains were out!! He drank LOTS of green smoothies we affectionately refer to as sludge during the first week (or ten days) while I did more research and we sought out help. (When we asked his oncologist his opinion about "alternatives" he basically said "Well, it can't hurt you at this point." Thanks Dr. Optimistic, you are awesome!) We researched alternative treatment centers all over the US and in Mexico during that first week. We weren't sure if chemo and radiation were the right path. We were very confused and on information overload. We did have the help of family members and friends researching and sending us information, which helped to focus things for me. I determined that the things that came up the most, were the ones we should try to incorporate first. By Sunday, our heads were still just spinning (not quite a week after we first found out). We had an appointment at an alternative clinic in Idaho, and an appointment for radiation on Monday morning. Jeff decided that night to go ahead with the conventional treatments of chemo and radiation, but to also incorporate the diet changes, and many supplements and other "alternative" treatments as they made sense and were feasible. We added in nuts, and after talking to a doctor who believes in holistic treatments (why they don't all believe is baffling) he recommended that if we weren't going to add in animal protein, in the form of lean meat, that we should probably add in legumes to help with a feeling of fullness. This opened some options for better tasting soups and stews (although, I still only use kidney beans (least acidic), cooked from scratch (the canned ones have sugar). **(Just a side note on doctors not believing in "non-medical" or "alternative" therapies, I picked up an article at our oncologists office that someone had photocopied and placed multiple copies in each exam room. It was on colon cancer and the conclusion of the article was that eating a healthy diet with lots of fiber and fruits and vegatables MAY reduce the risk of colon cancer and MAY lead to fewer recurrances of colon cancer in people with a previous diagnosis. But further studies should be done. I was kind of horrified. It just seems like common sense to me. And I would ask why those studies haven't been done, but as a person who is always on the diet roller coaster I know that it takes some serious dedication to stay on a healthy diet that is low in processed food. And it takes LOTS more time. - But do it, you are worth it, and studies or no - I guarantee it will benefit you! Try to get any guarantee from your doctor on anything!!) As I write this, we are sitting in Jeff's 6th chemo treatment (and last). I know I said five, but when we met with the doctor last week he said that since we still had a week of radiation left he would have Jeff do one more treatment. (I know, I think he is making it up as he goes along, too.) As far as alternatives he takes a handful of supplements in the morning and a handful at night. Drinks lots of different concoctions including Monavie, POM pomegranate juice, Aloe, Hydrogen Peroxide. We had a whole house water purification system installed, and also reverse osmosis on the kitchen sink. That is the only water I use for anything that will go IN our bodies. It tastes yucky, but I guess we get used to having minerals and junk in our water so pure H2O is pretty different. For diet, it is still mainly fruits, veggies and nuts. I have thrown in a little Basmati rice to bulk up the meals. I make him a "delicious" shot of wheat grass juice every morning (I add a couple of drops of the essential oil Frankincense to that). I am sure there is nothing more tasty in the whole world. He follows that up with a glass of freshly juiced Carrot/Apple juice. I have also come up with what I actually believe (no, really) is a yummy taco soup. I use taco sauce instead of the packet (packets have sugar), made from scratch kidney beans, the EXPENSIVE canned tomatoes (because the more expensive brands don't have sugar), and some finely chopped cauliflower. He adds jalapenos and vegan sour cream to his, but I don't. Dessert is a smoothie of almond milk, strawberries and bananas. The kids really love this! Gage asks for it every night, and lots of mornings for breakfast, too. The holistic minded doctor saw Gage one day while we were their for treatment and diagnosed him as allergic to dairy. We figured it was worth exploring and have taken the kids off dairy. They are pretty happy with almond milk, as long as I get the sweetened kind. If I mess up and a get a "milk" they don't like, it goes in the smoothie, and they don't know the difference! This is totally jumping around (which is why I should keep up on it as life goes along). We, of course, weren't okay with the 0% odds given to us by the oncologist, so I gathered all of his records and took them up to the Huntsman Cancer Institute. That same day the oncologist we already have talked to us and told us he would be happy to work with us on getting second opinions if we would like to do that. I told him we had already taken the records in. When I told him who the doctor there was, he told us that they were friends and that he would give him a call. I had mixed feelings about this because I wanted an "untainted" opinion - meaning, I didn't want our doctor to put his negative spin on things before the other doctor even had a chance to look, but at the same time, I thought "knowing" someone might get his file looked at quicker. Well it turned out to be good all around. The office at Huntsman called us back two days later. They said they agreed with the treatments we were doing and wouldn't do anything differently. They also said that they didn't have any trials or anything further they would recommend. That was sort of disappointing, given the odds we had, but at least reassuring that that we were doing all that could be done. The next day our regular oncologist called Jeff and said that he had talked to the Huntsman doctor and during that conversation determined that a bone scan was in order. (So then I felt like we got the best of both worlds, an unbiased opinion, and some collaboration.) He did the bone scan on a Monday and we met with the doctor on Tuesday at the regular chemo appointment. He told us that the bone scan showed that the cancer had not spread and it was only in the part of the pelvic bone that we already knew about. That was good news. He also talked with us in the most positive way that he has ever talked in a whole year. He said that Jeff's cancer type is closest to, and behaves like, a lung cancer. And if we take what we know about lung cancer, we can extrapolate that information and apply it to this cancer then this is what we know. If lung cancer is in one generalized location, hasn't spread, and can be radiated - and chemo can be done along with the radiation, then we know that there is a 20-30% chance for a cure! Did he just say what I think he said? There is hope, real (medical) hope. I already had hope (complete faith and trust in my Heavenly Father), but additional hope is always good too! So here are the numbers as I calculate them (and I am really good at math) 25% based on statitics + bonus 25% because he is young and doesn't smoke and drink + 50% from eating like a rabbit + 80% from thoughts, prayers and fasting +100% faith in my Heavenly Father =280% chance of being here for me to annoy for another 40 or 50 years. Yay for statistics!! So that is where we are today. We have had some of the most amazing tender mercies in our lives already. We have had friends call, stop by, share information, write letters, pray, fast, go to lunch, take the kids on outings. We also have a friend who is planning a fund raiser that we hope will just turn in to a big party where we can get together and celebrate friendship and life. We are planning lots of trips, and making memories and sharing stories of our childhoods, and our life together with our kids. I won't tell you that it has been a fun experience, but it has been a growing and learning experience that has helped us focus on and appreciate more what is most important in our lives. We are getting many opportunities to talk about faith and the gospel and eternal families and the love Heavenly Father has for all of his children. He knows each one of us personally and he knows our hearts and he knows what we need to create the best in each of us. My friend on Facebook posted a quote that I liked so much I added it to the notes on my phone.

"Faith is taking the first step, even when you can't see the whole staircase!"

Much love and thanks to you all (let the funny now resume!)