Friday, September 14, 2012

My **cough** 20 Year High School Class Reunion

My high school reunion is coming up and I really feel like I need to recreate this scene with one of my besties and probably Travis at the reunion. (However, my friends are lame and are refusing to join me - their loss.)
Of course, I just don't have a prom dress on hand so this necessitated a trip to Savers!  Let the good times roll.  The Savers nearest me is really quite new and they are still just getting in a good inventory.  They only had about 20 "evening gowns". (Although, Courtney started in the lingerie section. Yikes.)

So I started looking for just the perfect dress among the meager selection. It was like DESTINY.  I found the perfect dress for me.  (I mean, what are the odds - contrary to popular belief - my waist size has changed just a bit from High School...)  And I actually found TWO that I thought would fit.  So we headed off to the dressing room.

The first one was cute, but just not quite what I wanted. (I shared a crappy picture on Facebook, but I am too lazy to upload it here)

The next was like FATE brought us together.  It fit me like a glove...or it would have if I was blessed with boobs! (Can I say that word on my blog?) But like, everywhere else, it totally fit.  I knew I must get it! And it was HALF PRICE.  Honestly, could this story get better?

As soon as we got to the car Courtney started planning how to do my hair.  So at 7:00 at night, we started the arduous task of making my already princess-like hair even more princessy.  And as I was sitting there getting even more beautiful by the minute I thought "Umm, I need a tiara. Where could I get a tiara?"  Immediately I thought of my awesome neighbor, Alicia.  I just knew she would totally have a tiara.  And she DID!  She brought it right over.  (Seriously, who has neighbors so awesome that they don't even question you when you ask for a tiara and they come to your house at 8 at night and your daughter is making you some princess hair!!)

Soon my hair was finished and I headed into makeup.  Those who know me well know that I wear either no makeup or very little makeup.  And here I was practically doing caked on stage makeup at 8:00 at night.

Then came the Pièce de résistance (yeah, I googled it) - my beautiful dress.  Perfect...well almost.  Again, I have no boobs...I was trying to wear it without a bra (spoiler alert, it is strapless), therefore my fake boobs wouldn't stay in (sorry, that is a story for another post). So then I just started grabbing everything from my pajama drawer and stuffing it in there.  I may have had two t-shirts and a pair of flannel pants in there.

Courtney said "No, we need to see your cleavage!"  (Uh, DCFS should stop reading ... a few minutes ago.)  I got out a really old bra, and put it on the tightest setting.  But again, the dress was strapless so I had to have Courtney cut the straps off.  Did you know that you get the most support from the did I but by this time I was in a full mental case craze. Now, I need more support that doesn't show.  I had Courtney go get the double stick tape.  She came back with the clear packing tape.  Close enough.  "Okay, I am going to hold my cleavage where I want it, and you put the tape on - making sure it is on the bra and my skin to hold it in place..." (I can not believe I am sharing this...)  The tape completely DID NOT WORK.  So I said, "I will hold the dress with my arms just right and that will hold the dress where it needs to be. Now you take pictures and do not get any of the mess that is my bedroom or this house in any of the pictures."

I feel it fair to note that I have not been in a swimsuit in over a year, so those rocking awesome tan lines are just something we princesses always posses.

If you have made it this far, I won't keep you in suspense any longer...

The Average Day in the Life of a Princess

We dust our precious Lladro Figurines. We wash the fine china. (There may be tape showing...) 
We practice our musical gifts. We keep the grounds.

And a special shout out to all my ""friends"" - Thanks for the heads up on the fact that I totally have 

Someday I will share with you the outtakes of this awesome shoot, but really this feels like enough for now.  I will leave you with this - how I normally look. (Kinda - less make up, less curls)  I am totally keeping the tiara though because how can you think housework is drudgery when you are cleaning in a tiara?

**As always  - there will be a PayPal account set up for a therapy fund for my kids for when, not if, they need it!


  1. I LOVE IT! Your hair looks amazing and of course you should wear your party dress when you wash dishes. If I were you, I would wear a tiara everywhere-including Wal-marts :) The people bow at your awesomeness! (I did like the alternate title though "Courtney, tape this too my boobies" was a best seller!)

  2. Poor Courtney, no one should have to tape their mom's boobs!That is hilarious! I love the photo shoot. And yes, those are some crazy eyes.

  3. Oh my gosh!! That just made my night. You did rock the dress by the way and I could totally see the diva in you coming out. Love it!

  4. As always, you are brilliant to come up with this stuff!! lmbo!! :) Loved reading every bit and you are one totally hot rockin princess!!!